Dunno if this fits here but I guess its OK for some lighthearted stuff....quotes, basically and I\'ve no idea to whose credit.....
If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
There are 3 ways to get something done:
1.Do it yourself
2.Hire someone to do it for you.
3.Forbid your kids to do it.
What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.
Health freaks are going to feel real stupid someday, lying in hospitals, dying of nothing.
Happiness, n: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody\'s there to appreciate it.
If truth is the most valuable possession we have, should we economize on it?
The man who smiles when something goes wrong has thought of someone to put the blame on
In Africa, some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine-chilling cries. Anthropologist call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America, we call it Golf.
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