OrthodoxAndrew wrote:
For those here who do not feel contraception is right, would they say that the only answer to a couple who for real reasons can't have children at a certain point in their marriage would be celibacy?
In Christ,
Andrew
Well, it would be very strange for the Church which married the couple with prayers about the blessing of children to force the couple into celibacy if they\'re not able to have children.
St. John Chrysostom in \"Marriage and Family Life\" writes, IIRC, that married couples unable to have children of their own should not be depressed. There are plenty of people in the world already. Now I can\'t remember if he addressed marital relations on this point, but a marriage, according to St. John, is first and foremost for the couple, then for the children. He hammers the point about not valuing your children above your spouse. Your spouse comes first. You should not worship your children. Etc etc.
Fr. John Krestiankin, interestingly, writes a lot of letters about marital issues and canons. Now, I have asked a Greek spiritual father about one of Fr. John\'s points, that spouses should not be more than 5 years apart in age and he said \"We don\'t do that.\" So, take it with a grain of salt, then, that Fr. John (who is widely respected as an authroity in Russia) says that an impediment to marriage occurrs if one potential spouse is known to be unable to have children.
And, the thing with abstention from marital relations is that both spouses have to aggree. And, St. Paul says, this should be to devote themselves to prayer for a time, then come back together so as not to leave room for temptation. This point probably cannot be overemphasized in Orthodox circles. I know Fr. John Krestiankin writes a lot of letters to married men and women who want to become monastics. His response is always an unequivocal \"NO!\" followed by, \"What are you thinking?\" And some advice about working to help the other spouse. (Sometimes he\'s even witty--almost saying something like \"Why don\'t you use the rocks in your head to fill up the holes in your husband\'s?\" a la Ann Flanders)
