Spiritual Father/Mother

Step 1: Pray Step 2: See your parish priest for starters Step 3: Pray

Please forgive me for asking. I meant no offense. Perhaps it would be best if a moderator deleted this thread.

I don\'t think there\'s a need to delete this thread. It\'s a good discussion to have. We should always be careful and guard our spiritual freedom. Really, our spiritual father should be the first to do this, but sadly, as St. Paul reminds us, we have many teachers, but few fathers. OrthodoxRose, if you are looking for a spiritual father, perhaps a good thing to do is familiarize yourself with the qualities of true spiritual fatherhood. I\'m not really educated in this, but, to me, they are apparent in the Desert Fathers and Gerontikon. I once read another helpful set of criteria--encouraging people to run some tests on potential spiritual fathers just through careful observation. This person, who was a spiritual father, wrote that we should watch the priest (as most spiritual fathers are confessors) as he serves liturgy. How does he do it? Does he do it with prayer and real contrition? Or does he just go through the motions? How does he treat the chanters and servers? Is he obsessed with the exact execution of rubrics? This could be a sign of some trouble. Is he strict with himself and gentle and lenient with others? This is very good. Is he merciful? Does he practice what he preaches? Is he kind? What was said above by RivrDotr is very good. Does the priest talk to you and show a genuine CHRISTIAN interest in what\'s happening in your life? Does he do that with others? This is important. A priest should not have favorites. Hope this helps.

Just for reference, a similar thread has been done: http://my.orthodoxcircle.com/_forum/index.php?cat=842&sub=3664&threadnumber=421271 You don\'t have to, but you could read through that one too. But, I second what Fr Athanasius said, pray, talk to your parish priest, and pray.

last summer i ve met an old hieromonk ,who kept the memory of his spiritual fathr deep in his heart. he told that after his first confession,his head was wet from his elder\'s tears . The elder was crying during his whole confession! elder Tichon of Mt Athos advised once: if you want to find a spiritual father,fast and pray for three days and God will show you the way.

If the thread isn\'t going to be deleted, then please let me apologize for starting one that has already been discussed thoroughly. I would also like to apologize for the flip tone of my post. It was only a few hours after experiencing the constriction phase of a migraine, and it seems I was still affected by the mild oxygen deprivation that causes. I never would have asked such a serious question in such a frivolous tone if I had been thinking straight. Please forgive me.

No worries OrthodoxRose. I get migraines too. The other thread is *similar*, but not duplicate. No need to delete anything. You\'re asking how and where to find one. The other discussion was more about what to do with one once you found him/her. Depending on the software, the mods might be able to \"merge\" the threads.

There is something liberating about having your decisions made for you. (I wish I could have someone figure out my weekly menu and grocery list.) But there is something more valuable to having someone guide you to maturity.

I\'ve had many good experiences and a few bad ones. The good ones helped me heal from the bad. We all have to learn to forgive. The best spiritual fathers walk with you on your journey.

If you have a funny feeling... If you\'re a little frightened... If you see double standards, bigotry, and destructive behaivior... Don\'t hide, run very quietly. Shrug it off, cross yourself, Pray and let it go completely.

It is important not to expect a priest to be anything other than a human being, subject to all the same frailties as the rest of us.

Our prayers are listened.I have been given a spiritual father.My relationship with him is in fact my relationship with God.I am praying and God answers me through my spiritual father. It is the work of the Holy Spirit. I am not alone with him but the Holy Grace is with us through our permanebt prayers. In Christ, Ana