Dear friend,
I am certainly not the one to give an opinion of what this was and by whom it was given.
I am glad you area aware of the dangers of plani and are not prone to seek religious experiences.
I think as Orthodox, when we have a basic understanding of who we are and what is going on in this world and develop the awareness of the invisible world, we also develop the \"harmolipi\" feeling (the\"joy-sorrow\" or sorrowfull - joy feeling).
It is good to be sad that we offend God by our sins, and recongnize that without His Grace we have no hope. Also that anything good in us is a gift from Him.
But do not be overly upset of your own sinfullness. Have hope and rejoice in your heart. After you repent for and confess something, let it go, do not hang on to guilt because that too may be a form of pride. (Thinking \"how could I have ever done this or that). However certainly I would encourage you to talk to your Spiritual Father since it is something you are concerned over.
Lay it on him, you do not necessarily need to receive an answer from him as to what exactly this was, but do share it.
The Panaghia with us all!
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