For us Orthodox Guys: Advice - Thoughts - Suggestions

I once spoke to my priest about this very topic and he reminded me that to be tempted is not a sin. After all, Christ Himself was tempted. It\'s what we do with that temptation that may (or may not) be a sin. However, to more directly answer your question, say the Jesus Prayer (Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner). Hopefully, by repeating this prayer as you walk across campus (or the mall, or wherever you may be tempted), it will focus your mind on Christ and not lead your mind wonder into sinfulness from temptation. Hope that helps.

It does, thanks. I do Pray the Jesus prayer and it is always a help, sometimes I sing Hymns or just sing Lord Have Mercy. Although this is great input for me my idea behind this post was kind of a general input / advice post for all guys in general as it seems somewhat appropriate in todays loose morals...

There is a book titled Holy Women of the Syrian Orient. In it is the story of Sts. Pelagia (who had been a prostitute) and Nonnos (who inspired her conversion). Here\'s an excerpt: \"When the holy bishops saw her, they averted their eyes from her as though she was some sinful object. The holy bishop Nonnos, however, observed her carefully in his mind filled with wonder. Once she had passed in front of them, he turned away his face, placed his head between his knees, and wept with great feeling, so much so that his lap was filled with tears.\" The story continues, I won\'t transcribe it all here, but after weeping for the woman (and i call her \"woman\" rather than \"prostitute\" deliberately) the bishop tells his brothers that they should be ashamed that they do not prepare themselves for God as well as the woman had prepared herself for her public appearance. I think his attitude then can tell us quite a bit today. First of all, any woman, no matter how she is dressed, is to be seen as a member of humanity, God\'s creation and a personal being. The bishops turned away from St. Pelagia as if she were an object, not God\'s beloved child. Bishop Nonnos, however, wept for her. As a woman, I pray that an effort to see all women as sisters in Christ will help you look beyond the fashions of the day. Secondly, bishop Nonnos did not reprove the woman as much as he reproved himself. He did not pick out the speck in her eye, but in his own and used her sin as an opportunity to correct himself. We have to remember that we are personal beings, sin is not abstract, it inflicts harm on others. If causing a temptation to lust is a particular woman\'s sin against you, you sin against her in turn if you succumb and objectify her. Finally, my personal opinion is that we can get obsessed with these issues very easily, to the point of distraction from deeper issues. What about the temptation men put on each other to be macho and arrogant, to be disrespectful of women, to abuse drugs etcetera. Women dress a certain way because they think men will find it appealing. One of the most important things you can do is to encourage other men not to applaud those types of actions. That way the problem will be addressed from its root. Looking at the whole picture can help to put things in perspective. I hope this made sense, and I hope it helps. Sorry about the length.

I think men and women will look at this differently. Men and women are different, they, in general, have different temptations, on a generic level. While, of course, it is very necessary and important to view each human being as an icon of God, and not as an object, I do not think the bishops who turned away from seeing Pelagia\'s naked and provocative displays can or should be blamed for turning away, or that, in turning away, they were objectifying her. As was mentioned earlier in the Polls section on women wearing bikinis, each person is at a different stage in purification. Others are illumined or deified, but these are like Blessed Nonnus, because he was able to see the image of God in Pelagia. It didn\'t matter to him that she was naked. But, such displays matter to a lot of people, the great majority. And these should not be blamed. Because, if a man or woman has self-knowledge and is working on the purification of the soul, that is very good, and to be encouraged. It is the point at which the VAST marjority of us are at--men and women. We all have our impurities which need purging away. While some would look on eagerly with lust in their hearts, others, knowing their own sins and seeking not to give occasion for bad thoughts, turn away. It\'s not that they HAVE bad thoughts already. Not everyone who averts his eyes is lustful. Many are just modest. Many even have pure hearts and want to guard their purity, much like modest women of old times would avoid the company of men--not in fear of rape, although that was around then, too, but in order to preserve their inner purity, the purity of their souls. So prayer, the aversion of eyes--these things are used as good methods by people at many different levels of purification--some who are already pure, and others who are just beginning to repent. Now, probably the key for dealing with these kinds of temptation is regular confession. Because temptations will always come from somewhere, so one might as well try to work on one\'s reaction to them. It all depends on where one is. Perhaps one has a problem with actually looking for temptations to fall into. Working on this problem should help one face the pop-up surprise attack temptations in life. As for those nasty surprises, confession is another aid here. And regular prayer. Things like this will often act on the soul like a violent attack. Other times, you just brush them off. A good spiritual father and confessor would be able to go into this more specifically with you, personally, Nikola. But, as we are talking generally on this forum, I would say that that\'s all I know for the moment. Algeria, I want to tell you that I did not mean to \"go after\" you for anything. I just wanted to give a little clarification. Forgive me.

I think that\'s sound advice really. Averting the eyes is always a good idea in many situations. Unfortunately in today’s world, in many situations, there aren\'t to many safe resting places for the eyes and obviously the key is to look God-ward. Here\'s a copy of a daily message from the Gerontikon I received from a very wonderful Abbot... (Note: This was not in response to any questions I asked him but just so happens to be exactly what we are talking about...) That the youth (and everyone) should strive to acquire divine eros, and reject carnal eros \"...A young man must try every means to resist temptation, and he will surely have Christ\'s help. When divine eros is kindled in his heart, the burning is such that every other desire and unseemly picture will be burned out. When this divine fire is burning within us, we experience pleasures so divine that all other pleasures pale in comparison. When we taste heavenly manna, wild carobs [i.e., the carnal pleasures] will mean nothing to us. This is why we should hold fast to the steering wheel, make the sign of the cross and not be afraid. After every little struggle, heavenly delights follow. If we are brave when temptation comes, God and the Panaghia will help miraculously.\" Also in response to Alegria, thank you. That’s a really great perspective that I’m sure a lot of Orthodox guys may be lacking. I think it is indeed very important to remember that when a man, who for examples sake is being tempted by a woman, gives into that temptation he is indeed objectifying her or perhaps contributing to that objectification of her. (I would say, in many cases, blindly and perhaps not even so much intentionally - although there is indeed a lot of objectification of women in modern day culture) Clearly, the man is no longer seeing Christ (or attempting to) in this woman but rather seeing her as an indulgence so to say... It can be very difficult in many situations to do this as from an Orthodox guys perspective I would even venture to say that the amount and extent of promiscuity and promiscuous apparel worn by women is mind boggling! Also understand that these are literal assaults on our senses and I have to admit that at times I do turn away a bit snobbishly as it does get a little old. Lastly I\'d like to suggest that in many situations women may indeed be objectifying themselves by dressing and or behaving promiscuously. Of course, men must not contribute to this problem but rather contribute to the solution and see her as a child of God and pray for her (as well as ourselves).